Strictly finally kicked off Series 11 with promising debuts, actual training footage, soapy plotlines (excuse me while I tend to my deadly knee injury while going into labour DURING THIS BLOG) and a performance that should have come with a serious health warning. Honestly, I’m thinking of trading in my HD telly. Officially blind in at least one eye.
A pick ‘n’ mix of first dances gave some celebs fizzy rainbow strips (jive! Campy tango!) and others vanilla fudge (so-so cha chas and waltzes), but this year’s Barbie and Ken cannily played the angelic showmance card to top the leaderboard with a dreamy waltz. Will Natalie’s relegation to second place end the ringer mutterings? Unlikely. Are we all still terribly cut up about the beautiful telegenic girls who just find it SO HARD to look elegant in the ballroom dances? Don’t make me laugh bitterly.
New this year, I’m handing out rosettes for Best in Show – feel free to nominate your choices in the comments section or drop me a tweet: @mkmswain
• Best performance: Susanna and Kevin’s jive Jolly-hockey-sticks enthusiasm, genuine surprise from a non-dancer, and that final tipsy cartwheel put it over the top
• Best costume: Artem’s Cossack escort attire Finally, they got my letters!
(In related news, this week’s Best Strictly-related autobiography title has to be Russia’s Greatest Love Machine)
• Best move: Hairy Dave dragging Karen around by her foot Ever wanted to see a forgetful caveman cover version of John Sergeant’s paso? You’re welcome!
• Best line: “Sometimes it pays to be straight!” Bruno Tonioli, tellin’ it like it is (and scoring runner-up for Best Strictly-related autobiography title)